THE ADVENTURES OF A WAYWARD CHEF

Ancient Greek philosopher Diogenes once masturbated in the Agora; when rebuked for doing so, he replied, “If only it was as easy to soothe my hunger by rubbing my belly.”
Forget Martha Stewart Living and to hell with the recession! Forking Fantastic, by Zora O’Neill and Tamara Reynolds, is the new de rigueur guide to [...]

There are a lot of adjustments and sacrifices a food “enthusiast” makes when bidding adieu to life in the big city. When I said goodbye to New York to jump on a yacht sailing down to the Caribbean, I also said goodbye to my favorite butcher, fishmonger, ethnic markets, gourmet stores and most difficult of all, the cheese counter at Murray’s Cheese in the East Village. Granted, I traded those places for white sandy beaches, and bartering with Rasta’s over the price of breadfruit and mangoes, so who am I to complain? But, even in a tropical paradise, I pined for a good butcher and a respectable cheese counter.

The signs that spring has sprung are everywhere out here in Southern Oregon. The warm sun melts the frosting-like snow glazing the Syskiyous. Knock kneed calves suckle from their momma’s teets and wobble around the pastures as though they’re on stilts, baby lambs and kids graze on the fresh green grass, pregnant buds are ready [...]

A student asked me the other day if I thought a food processor was a necessary item in the kitchen. Personally, I can’t live without my food processor, I use it all the time for shredding vegetables for coleslaw, grinding breadcrumbs from the heels of my loaves of bread, grating gruyere for mac’n’cheese. It’s an [...]

“This curry was like a performance of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony that I’d once heard – especially the last movement, with everything screaming and banging ‘Joy.’ It stunned, it made one fear great art. My father could say nothing after the meal.” ~Anthony Burgess
Curry, it’s a simple word, yet varied and complex in meaning and richly [...]

“How can you be expected to govern a country that has 246 kinds of cheese?” ~Charles de Gaulle
Firm but smooth, nutty with notes of rich butter fat, a touch of salt and a faint but sharp tinge of acidity – just enough to trigger the salivary glands and make my mouth water. God, and to [...]

When some people are nervous, they get a frog in their throat, or a cat gets their tongue, or they get butterflies in their stomach.
Me, I get sea bass.
Yes, that’s right, a whole entire sea bass flopping around in my gut like a fish out of water! It’s very disconcerting, feeling its tail all the [...]

“WRU?” (where are you)
The text popped up on my cell phone just as I de-boarded the plane at Medford airport in Southern Oregon, my dad and step-mom waiting for me inside with my winter coat and gloves. The text was from my friend, Jessie. We’d met at a bar in Turks and Caicos two years [...]

Non omne quod nitet aurum est.~Chaucer, 1380
I rally myself from bed before dawn and pull on my chefs jacket, my hair piled in a knot atop my head, I look in the mirror as my fingers work each mother-of-pearl button through its hole, past the blue embroidery spelling out my name in script on the [...]